Conversation with My Hair Stylist

Had an interesting conversation with my hair stylist. Something I wasn't expecting.

He talked about positive energy and how to manage our thinking which in turn will have an impact on our reaction to the happenings around us. He is not talking about any religion but just being self aware of our thoughts and how they will translate to behaviour that will influence our children. Somehow he sort of believes the way we think is hereditary, meaning when our kids reach the stage we were in, they will fall back to the same emotions we had before. It could mean having the same fears or depressions (being rebellious during teenage years) or it could go the other way of being courageous and optimistic. I think to put it simply is, kids see our behaviours, learning what can be done. They might not have seen us at our teenage years but the vibes they get from us will influence their behaviours at their teenage years.

He also reminded me of one thing, that do not live up to others expectations but just be true to ourselves. Be myself. I will be happier. He shared this when he was talking about his entrepreneurship. The perseverance could also be labelled as stubbornness. He definitely had doubts, unsure if he was persevering for the right reason. But I guess he pressed on for his passion and probably a vision he had.

Refreshing chat yet something to reflect on.

Rio2016

While I was clearing some emails, I got bored and surfed the net. Was curious what were under my "favourites". And I revisited this blog! It was quite memorable seeing our past postings. So I thought this blog should be revived!

As suggested by GB, let me start off with a recent event, The Olympics. I am not considered an ardent fan of the game but I do enjoy watching sports like badminton, running and swimming. I must say this year's Olympics covered a lot of human stories which warmed many of our hearts.

For the record, we won our 1st gold medal in Men's 100m butterfly stroke. And it was a 21 year old young man, Joseph Schooling who became a national hero overnight. Just look at the welcome he received when he came back to Singapore! With the water salute, the hundreds of fans waiting at the arrival to the "victory parade" packed with proud Singaporeans, I am sure one wouldn't be able to forget those moments. Yes we all feel really proud.

Personally I love the moment of exchange between Michael Phelps and Joseph after the victory ceremony. The way Joseph looked at Phelps with respect and humbleness and the way Phelps celebrated Joseph's win... I just love that vibe.

And recently the badminton match between Lin Dan and LCW was another heartwarming story. Despite losing, Lin Dan was gracious and I was pretty moved by the note Lin wrote to LCW. Felt a strong sense of friendship; how they see each other as their strongest opponent and Lin shared that it was because of LCW, he wanted to be better. How inspiring is that! This is the power of sports. Not just about winning but always putting in your best to make the game enjoyable and worthwhile. Sadly LCW did not manage to beat China's Chen Long and he settled for silver. Nonetheless LCW is a champion in many's hearts cos he has played very well.

In athletics, I saw how the NZ and USA runners helped each other to complete the race. Indeed showing the spirit of Olympics. And as encouragement both went into the next round. Oh Bolt also caught my attention. I didn't know who he was but when the camera was zooming to the individual runner before the race, this guy actually did a little dance. I was thinking to myself "wah so haolian?" Only cos I didn't know who he was! Then I realised... oh ok he has the quality to be haolian. ... lol. I adore the act of him patting our Singapore's runner Yap. Short moment but definitely encouraging.

I think this year's game was a little more precious because it is the last for Phelps, Lin Dan and LCW. It is sad to think at 30 plus, you are already considered as old to be competing. Being a sportsman is tough and quite short lived in terms of the competing capacity.

When Schooling won our 1st gold, many started to question about did our government even support him at all? Some start to question if he is a true Singaporean. To me, these are noises. A little 马后炮. Most of us Singaporeans, ok at least friends around me and myself are too afraid to venture into something like this. UNLESS there is some sort of guarantee  (sure got money), if not most of us are too afraid to follow what the Schoolings did. I admire the family for their faith and love for one another. AND to me he has won it as a Singaporean.

Ok... stay tuned for more random musings.

Gen Stanley McChrystal

I chanced upon a sole remaining copy of THE Rolling Stones magazine that featured the now infamous interview of the belaguered military general. Now, I have never bought the said magazine before and at $13.40 it seemed too expensive just for one story, although the cover page featured Lady Gaga.

Still, I bought the magazine and read the story on Stan the very night.

As a soldier and leader, he has joined his men in their missions, braving stray bullets and ruthless forces.

While he said things he should not have said, and Obama really have no choice but to remove Stan from command, reading the article in entirety, what came across to me was a frustrated General fighting a impossible war (started by an ex president), an enemy that is elusive and allies that do not always appear to be helpful. Against this backdrop, his was a voice calling for recognition of the problems that beset his mission.

Suicide

I remember one colleague mentioned that when a person chooses to end his life, he is already not himself. Because for one conscious mind to take the very first step to kill own self will take a great deal of "courage" and determination.

Recently, 2 suicidal news caught my attention. The news were on the Korean star and Ms Kerin Peh (I will call her the Bride). I realised how tough times can be, to cause such distress to human beings like us who are educated and "were taught how to handle things in life". Some of us learnt vicariously, while others have to go through the harder way, i.e. personal experience.

Saw some comments about the news about The Bride who took her life just yesterday. Some were sympathetic while others criticised and preached how precious life is. I am not here to judge but I think one has to go through a great deal of trauma to understand. For me, I took a sympathetic stand. Really felt sorry for her having to go through the pain and yet not able to "recover" from the heartache.

As for the Korean actor, it was said that the stress and guilt in juggling his career and his ill dad pushed him to choose this path. He said life was hard.

Indeed, life was very difficult for the 2 cases. Depression is a trap. To get out, you have to be willing to leave a part of you and free the rest of yourself. Some are lucky enough to pull themselves away while others need others to give them a thug. Of course, there are also some who "choose" to fall deeper and deeper.

What we have learnt in schools is somewhat "fairytale" and usually good things happen in life. We were taught the moral values and good behaviours. We were taught how to handle academic topics, how to solve problems in Maths, in Science. Real life experience is hard to teach, no doubt. Still, with the increasing pace and expectation of the society nowadays, the issues on handling extreme emotions cannot be undermined.

A Little Ambition

A colleague asked me what I thought of his impending transfer to a new appointment. I said I think it is good to which he replied I was the first to say something positive.

I said in life you must have minimally a little ambition to be useful and gain knowledge. Without this, then it is likely that every job or opportunity will be viewed negatively.

And one cannot overemphasise the importance of communication in the corporate world. While the ultimate objective is getting the desired message clearly understood, the form ie tone, language and style, do a play equally important roles particularly in your supervisor's comparison of you with your peers.

A good chat

There is a saying that discussion/talk about ideas is the highest form and discussion about people is the lowest. That is easily understood because the talk tends to become gossip, wild postulations, albeit just for a laugh.

I met my university professor at my office canteen and we had a good chat. It was one of the most fulfilling chats I had in a long while.

Whilst we talked about people, it was to update each other of people we know in common and how they are now. We also enquired about each other's family.

Largely, we shared our ideas and experiences. It helped that although we are both engineers by training, we have a healthy respect for culture and the arts.

We both agreed to task ourselves to meditate more often so that we can be better balanced to face the world.

Documentary

I watched a National Geographic documentary titled "Escaping from North Korea". It is an excellent production. Real lives and faces (some blurred to protect their identities) need no dramatisation.

Against the risk of being caught and possibly imprisoned or executed (repeat offender), some north koreans take this path to escape their homeland. The journey is a ironic one, summed up by the cliche so near yet so far.

The destination is South Korea ie next door. But the route is through China, then through Laos and finally the Soth Korean embassy in Bangkok, Thailand.

It is not just a matter of luck whether one will be caught in China or Laos and be deported. Physical suffering and patience tests the refugee -- the entire ordeal could take months while the actual border crossings takes place over a few days. Many pack a handy dose of opium to commit suicide if caught.

Border crossing take place at night, refugees including children and old grandmothers make the more than 10 hours trek in near darkness and heavy vegetation. I think of it as an over-extended exercise in Pulau Tekong minus the food.

The greatest irony of all is that for the lucky ones who end up in Seoul, the real journey for them starts. Adjusting to a life from communist to capitalist, feeling out of place and being the underclass, poor and starting life all over again no matter your age. But the lure of freedom...that surpasses all.

Bing-bang or ping-pang

As a matter of correct pronunciation, the chinese words for table tennis 乒乓 is pronounced "ping-pang" and not "bing-bang".

Not many chinese are sensitive towards correct pronunciation especially the use of 翘舌 eg "zh" instead of "z" or between "ch" and "c".

I hear a DJ pronouncing 结束 as jie-su when it should be jie-shu.

Round or square?

This happened just yesterday at my taiji class. Some background: the classes are taught in Mandarin by a very good and knowledgeable laoshi (teacher) who loves to share anecdotes on culture, taiji and from his own experience.

An angmo and his chinese wife joined our class not so long ago. Through the class, I can hear the wife whispering the translation of laoshi's words to her husband.

Yesterday, laoshi talked about 外圆内方 loosely translated as 'outside-round, inside square' at the beginning of the class. It means to the outside, one must have forebearance ie 圆滑, but internally，one must be demanding towards himself.

In the middle of the class, the angmo's wife told laoshi that her husband was feeling frustrated because he cannot understand what the laoshi was saying, and laoshi seemed to be saying so much every class, and he was worried that he might be doing it wrong.

Laoshi merely smiled and say 'just follow the movements (what everyone is doing)'.

I can understand both the angmo and laoshi's difficulties. Laoshi is not telling him the full answer but the answer is not to be found in words, but in comprehension and that requires a feel for the language. For the angmo, he is very keen to learn but the barrier of language is too high to cross.

Can't sleep?

One of my colleagues have been commenting that lately that a night of uninterrupted sleep appears to be quite difficult to achieve. It is a bit of irony because like meditation, the key is letting go, and if you chase after it, the more you won't get it.

Anyway, he said that either it gets too long for him to fall asleep or he will wake up in the middle of the night and then stay awake till dawn breaks. I asked him what was bothering him and he said work.

Normally, I would have laughed it off if the same thing had not happened to me.

I sleep quite well normally but just a few weeks back I was grappling with a risk management issue at work. And one night, in my dream, I was actually dreaming I was grappling with the same issues, so derams mimic life, exactly. I had to tell myself, in my dreams, to wake up and I was laughing at my horrible dream.

In any case, my colleague asked me what options could I offer. I told him he could either use a bit of alcohol (my exact recommendation was milk with some DOM Benedictine), loving-kindness meditation and regular exercise.

He reported back just a few days ago that he slept soundly after a run.

On Running

I participated in a mass run at Macritchie Reservoir park last Sunday. Even though I was contemplating not going for the run during a very brief moment when I woke up, the experience of completing the run made me realise it was all worthwhile.

A colleague asked me what do I think about when I run. He says he counts numbers to establish a rhythm and to take his mind off the running. I said I enjoy the experience of running so I do not distract myself. In fact, through my own experience, the longer the distance and hence the longer I run, the mind tends to focus itself better because the mind has a major issue it has to muster, that is getting the tired muscles to work.

So for me, I let the mind run free and I find that it helps me to think about some of the issues at work and see them clearer.

But most importantly, the benefit of the run is to train the mind particularly in not giving up.

So, today, I signed up for another three runs, one of them a half-marathon.

Bad food in camp?

There is an article in Asiaone which reported that trainees at a NS Camp in Malaysia had complained about poor food among other things.

In my days, the food was never good, but thought that the poor food was one of the ways designed to toughen up 'soldiers'. Thankfully for the younger generation, the quality of food has improved by leaps and bounds with 'best-sourcing' (SFI!). Washing chores have also been outsourced.

My memory remains of the worst breakfast I have ever had in my life. Of cold yellow noodles, joined into lumps, dumped on my mess tray then sprinkled with lukewarm diluted water that served as 'soup' at 6am in the morning.

Momentum is important in exercise routine

After a long (ie one week overseas holiday) lay off from the pool, I found myself struggling to finish my basic 5-lap freestyle routine. Normally, I do a continous 5-lap, stop for a 3 minute or so break and follow up with a second 5-lap. Yesterday, I had to stop after every lap to that I could perform the 5 laps without dying.

This is why keeping up the momentum in the routine is important.

Today is my weekly run again. Because I also missed last week's run, I cannot miss today's run though my brain is conjoling me to take it easy. I am preparing myself mentally for a painful 6.5km journey.

Confucius and Socrates

I had an interesting discussion with my wife's cousin yesterday during a CNY visit. He is not a local and he has sent his children to both government schools and international schools. He shared this insight.

He said that government schools are run along Confucius principles and that is the teacher is there to teach and the students just has to open their ears and absorb. I can just imagine the chinese movies depicting such scenes of rows of students sitting ramrod straight and reciting after the master.

The western version is adapted from the philospher Socrates. The teacher will teach enough and then prompt the students to ask questions. By way of the how and what questions were asked, the teacher senses the level of understanding of his charges and adjusts his teaching.

This however is very demanding of the teachers and the system, as this required customising.

He also shared that in international schools, there is no streaming. Weaker students are encouraged to mixed with the stronger ones so that they can learn from each other. More capable students however are not being forced to learn at a slower pace (as the example illustrated earlier) as the teachers will cater for their learning needs, but even this is done very subtlely.

My batch was streamed at primary 3 and even at that tender age we understood what it meant to be in 6A or 6B. This continued into secondary school and even manifests somewhat in work.

If I have children, I think I would opt for them to be educated in the way of Socrates. That is, if I could afford it.

Of Supermen (aunties too)

I meet Supermen (aunties too) when I drive out from my carpark, navigate the minor routes that round the market and via the main entrance and finally to the main road.

These people cross the roads with nary a hoot to whether cars are approaching. Some walk with noses in the air daring the drivers. Of course, I dare not bump into them so when I see these Supermen, I politely slow down the car.

Reading the ST yesterday, there was an article of a driver (with an alledged embassy plate) who beat two traffic lights and knocked down 3 people and seriously injuring two of them.

So I am feeling worried for these Supermen. They become used to cars giving way that they lose sensitivity of approaching cars. If they should encounter the hit-and-run driver mentioned in the earlier paragraph, I hope they will be able to realise early to "siam".

Seeking the future - cause and effect

There is gradual increasing interest in futures. Not the stockmarket type. But thinking and analysis about what the future might be, what it might bring, especially negative effects so one can take the necessary actions to prevent or to soften the inevitable impact.

Initially, I was very puzzled and perturbed. How does one think and discuss what has not come, especially for longer term strategic issues?

I thought about this and rationalised my understanding this way. It is like weather forecasting. There is randomness in cloud movements but within the randomness, there is a pattern and it conforms to a cause and effect principle.

An action here and there today will lead to a consequence days later or years later, and some actions or people have more impact than others.

The consequence of climate change we experience today is also no accident. It is the very culmination of all of human kind, from governments to individuals, from years back to the global warming we see today.

So it is possible to spot trends, possibilities and what-ifs because the future is happening right now.

Story of Long Ke-duo

I shared this story from the excellent chinese serial 《雍正皇朝》 with my lunch khakis two days ago. The message of the story is akin to my earlier blog post on Deng Xiaoping.

The protagonist is a soldier called Long Ke-duo who had fought gallantly in battle with Emperor Kangxi who later personally honoured Long Ke-duo with a sword adorned with precious stones and jewels.

However, after the battle, he was not needed anymore nor was he asked to serve in any official post. This left him despondent and poor. At one stage, he had to pawn, albeit reluctantly, the sword from the Emperor.

After many decades, after Kangxi, for the second time, abolished the CrownPrince, Long Ke-duo was appointed the Chief Security Officer for theImperior Palace. At the Emperor's death bed, Long Ke-duo was given an even higher appointment to be in charge of the entire capital's security and also became something like a modern day Cabinet minister.

The Emperor called Long Ke-duo to his side and said that he understoodLong's frustration all these years but it was the emperor himself who obstructed Long's progress as he wanted test and train Long.

I hope my friend got the message.

解铃还需系铃人

华文华语教学最近在报章上谈的热，同事也各自分享自己 '读' ，不, 应该是被 '教' 华文的痛苦经历。

真的，俗话说得好，解铃还需系铃人，当年的政策还得当年的决策者自己推翻，多少曾经心灵受苦受难，今已成年的学者，心里终于好受释放了。

其实，也没有真的错与对，没有当年的试探，没有今天的发现。历史本来就有许多的牺牲者，一个人在哪里生，哪一年生，难免左右着他的命运。

我自己小学和中学的华文老师，我都没话说，因为他们都是很好的老师，我对汉语拼音很好的了解全都因为在小学扎的好基础。

但从高中高级华文我就也有苦水吐了。我爱老师教的红楼梦，现代散文，唐诗宋词。 但一直让我不理解的是为什么我得背人物分析之类的标准答案。 我自己的理解和标准的不合，那便是错！我考得很辛苦。

但是考试已经是很久以前的事了，心也不再痛了。 剩下的，也是最珍贵的，是丰富我炎黄子孙文学的精髓和色彩。

Hiatus

Since coming back from holidays, I have been finding it difficult to find motivation to blog. It may be because of the sheer discontinuation of momentum or due to a dearth of events to contemplate on.

It could be also due to my reading less since I have been spending my evenings re-watching the excellent DVD series 《雍正皇朝》.

Thinking Through (2)

This is a continuation of Part 1 here.
============================

So you have finished a piece of work and the next step is to seek the approval of your boss. And you can be sure he will be asking you questions about your work. So the next phase of thinking through is to ask the questions he may likely ask and satisfy yourselves you have got all ground covered.

But, do I know what questions will he ask? Try some of these.
Caveat: list below is not exhaustive.

1) Ask the basic/ fundamental questions. Bosses normally will not go into the detail at the outset because he knows he may be confused or led off-track. So he wants to make sure the fundamentals are correct.
- What is the aim/ objective/ purpose? (whilst the meaning of these words are essentially the same, you may find yourself giving different answers)
- What is the driver, ie why are we doing this?
- What is the basis/ argument and is this argument a persuasive one?
- What is the message? [spend a little more time on this]

So assuming your boss is satisfied with the fundamentals, he may now go into the details, ie the SUBSTANCE.

2) Going into the details
- Did you use figures, graphs, charts? If yes, are the figures/ trend accurate and what is the message conveyed?
- If the figures depict performance, are the figures impressive.
- Did you cite an example? If yes, is it an important example and is the example replicable?

3) The Unknowns
- What were your assumptions? It is all right to assume certain things, but you must know what these are and be able to argue why they remain as assumptions.
- Know what you do not know...YET. Cos you better find out before he does!