See who blinks first

I listened to an interesting but rather sad story that depicts how'practical' and overly kiasu people has become.

W was at a wedding dinner and when the soup dish came, the table was surprised that the bottle of chinese vinegar was missing. W said he took the initiative (which was nice of him) to ask the waiter for one. Due to language problems, the waiter did not understand what was needed and when he finally returned with the vinegar, all the bowls of soup had been consumed and all at the table did not have the marginal benefit of a better tasting soup.

I asked W why didn't he just pop over to the next table and 'borrow' a bottle after they are done with it. He replied "Why should I do it when the others could have?"

I call this the 'see who blinks first' syndrome and it extends in my personal observation to 'who drives the car to lunch', 'who initiates payment after meals', 'if the person who pays first doesn't ask me, I am not volunteering to pay my share', etc. It extends into the office as "who replenishes the paper in the common printer', 'don't speak up so I don't get arrowed', etc.

Of course, sometimes the amount is small (especially for drinks) and how much petrol are we talking about for a 10 min trip?

But isn't it better that one is more 'automatic' and is sensitive to reciprocate goodwill so that more of it can grow. Goodwill, like trust, is hard to build but easy to destroy.